Recycling Passion

In the early '90s the United States celebrated the 20th anniversary of Earth Day. Recycling was just becoming a popular thing and I, for one, was a recycling fanatic. When curbside recycling came to Park Ridge I was so excited that you would have thought someone actually had asked me to Homecoming. "Reduce, reuse, recycle" has been my mantra for over a decade. I reuse the "to go" boxes from restaurants and wash my plastic wrap and foil to use again (hey, I've only bought one box of Saran Wrap in the last 4 years!). I continue to faithfully clean out cans, plastic bottles and glass jars. When I'm in a place where they don't recycle, the empty pop cans go into my purse. I have transported recyclable and reusable materials across both state and national borders. Yes, I'm a little obsessed. But now I've taken recycling to a whole new level. Now I'm recycling a relationship. (Here is where you should insert the *sigh*)

The long and the short of it is that Jason is back in my life. Truth be told, he was never really out. Since the break up (5 months ago) we talked pretty regularly every couple of weeks and it was just about the time I decided our friendship was keeping me from getting over him that he decided to tell me that he is still in love with me. (Here's where that *sigh* goes again) So, before y'all launch into why this is such a bad idea, I'd like to present some pros and cons in my own defense.

The Pros of a Recycled Relationship:
1. You already know the person (not perfectly, of course). You know (and agree with) their basic values, their interests, their likes and dislikes. You know their imperfections, too. You know what's going to bug you, so it won't be a surprise. You know how they communicate. Etc.
2. You get to have back all the things you missed about the person and the relationship.
3. In our case, we dated for 2 years and just couldn't take the next step of marriage -- if we could actually take that step this time, wouldn't it be a terrible shame to throw away the chance?
4. You have done a lot the hard work of learning how to adjust to one another.
5. You are already past the awkwardness of the first kiss.
6. You already know each other's secrets.
7. You've met each other's families and friends.
8. You have a shared history to build upon.

I'm sure there are more...As to the cons..

The Cons of a Recycled Relationship:
1. You already know a lot about the person -- including the things that annoy you and/or drive you crazy.
2. You're back with the things you didn't miss about the relationship.
3. We dated for TWO YEARS and couldn't take the step of marriage...what could make us sure we could do it this time?
4. You were adjusting to life without the other one
5. The shared history includes some hurt and negative scripts; how do you heal and write new scripts?

I could write the specifics as each of these things relate to Jason and I, but won't. I will say that some things really do seem to have changed (don't roll your eyes at me!). He's been doing some "personal work" and learned a lot of things about communication and can see a little more clearly where some things went wrong in the relationship, as can I. But, there are still the old scripts. Still the long distance.

And of course, there are the things that, until we make a decision, are both
Pros and Cons:
1. I still love him
2. He still loves me.

*sigh*

Feel free to comment on this one... if not on this blog, then on email or when I see many of you in the next week. (Wow, my blog just became my own personal Dear Abby.) And, incidentally, if Jason and I do get back together and I give him the address for this blog, this post and related comments will be deleted!