Deadlines

The word "deadline" came into usage during the Civil War. Without proper facilities with which to guard the prisoners of war, two perimeters of rope were set around the area where the prisoners were kept. If a prisoner crossed the first rope, he was ordered to move back. However, if he moved past the second line, he was shot dead. Deadline.

Sometime during the 1920s the word began to be used by the American newspaper industry with its more familiar definition of the time by which something must be completed. It's hard to know how we moved from a line that marked the difference between death and life and the time by which something had to be done; it seems it might have had something to do with the fact that any story not turned in by the deadline would, in effect, be dead. Miss enough deadlines and your career would be done, as well.

As much as I stake my life on grace, I find that there is a certain comfort in deadlines. For example, finals weeks in college were probably the most stressful weeks of my life, with so many different deadlines bunched up together (and the annual cursing of myself for not getting ahead). Yet, I knew that once the last deadline had come and gone, the work would be over. The grade would be what it would be and I could go home on break knowing that there was nothing more to be done.

This week looms with a couple of deadlines. One was planned, the other unexpected. Almost two months ago, I gave Jason a deadline. We have been back together for almost a year now and the stress of not knowing whether or not we are ever going to get married has begun to take a toll on me, on him, and certainly on the relationship. The deadline is now almost a week away. Frankly, we have not done the sort of work I thought we would. The temptation is to push back the date, to try a little harder, to talk a little more. But the reality is, it's time to make a decision. Once we pass that date we will either be engaged (or close to) or broken up. It's a frightening prospect. Will the relationship live or die?

The second deadline is (or was) a more literal life and death situation. Earlier this week Jason brought me a beautiful bouquet of lilies. Unfortunately lilies are highly toxic to cats and my curious Michi found her way into them. I discovered the chewed leaves just as I was preparing to take the flowers out of the house. Panicked calls to the vet ensued and I was told on Thursday that if the cat had eaten any part of the plant that she would experience fatal kidney failure and there was nothing they would be able to do for her. The only thing for me to do was wait and see whether she got sick or not. I asked when it would happen and was told within the week and that signs would appear within 72 hours. Three days became the deadline. They were three days of panic and worry. I'm glad to report that deadline has now come and gone and Michi still seems fine.

Now that the three day deadline has come and gone, I no longer have to worry about my cat. Now I now can just bask in the relief of knowing what will happen and a renewed joy in the life of my furry friend. Crossing that "deadline" actually meant crossing into life. And I know that no matter what happens with the other deadline, the same will be true. There will be relief in knowing a decision has been made, a sense of newness that comes with finally knowing what will happen next. I know how I want that story to end, but it will be what it will be.

You'll probably want to check back in sometime next week...